Feeling Nostalgic

Have you ever felt like you wish you could go back and relive something all over again? Would you do it differently? Would you do it exactly the same?

Although I know it is impossible to go back and change anything that has happened in the past, I am feeling very nostalgic today. I'm missing my time in Uganda, missing the relationships I formed, missing the love I felt and missing the lessons I learned. I feel like it was ages ago that I was there and to be honest, I don't like that feeling at all. When I said I left my heart in Uganda...I truly did. I feel a bit lost and a bit out of sorts being back in the U.S. and now being back at my home in the monotony of my life, dealing with things that are so meaningless and useless, it's really quite the culture shock.

I found something in Uganda that I truly never felt I would find, feel or understand. I knew that my heart was pulled to Uganda last May when my now dear friend Lucy came to Westminster to talk about Uganda...I had no idea that a year later it would shock my heart to the core. I had no idea I would fall in love the way I have. I had no idea the Lord would use the people, places and things there to make me desire so much more in my own life and that of those around me.

Am I alone in this? Absolutely not. The Lord was powerful in Uganda and I believe, touched all 8 people on my team, all in different ways. God is creative in the ways He works in our hearts and even though I went with an open heart and unhindered soul, I had NO IDEA He would fulfill me in such a way that I feel like a completely different person.

So, what can I do about it now that I'm back?! Well, that's a very good question that I am still trying to wrestle with. In the last 10 days that I've been back, my emotions have been on a roller coaster, my life has been flipped upside down. I've cried from joy, I've cried from heartbreak, I've cried from love, I've cried from pain. I don't know where the path ahead of me is going, I don't know how I'm going to get there, and I don't know who is going to be there in the end, but I DO know that the Lord is paving that for me and I am trusting that He will protect and guide me, because I KNOW that He is the only one that has the power to do such a thing.

So, today, I feel nostalgic...I'm not sure what the future holds and that is hard to swallow...so I trust...and keep trusting...and pray...and keep praying!

My Team, from Left:

Tami, Ben, Gretchen, Me, Ivan, Ray, Leslie & Dominick

I left my Heart in Uganda

Back from Uganda and somewhat back to reality...at least to the reality of the U.S.
I'm at my parents in Michigan this week. Recovering and recooperating after a very long journey. I'm feeling surprisingly well...wasn't great last night, but compared to what I'm sure others are feeling, I'm doing pretty good.
I have to be honest...I wasn't ready to come home and wasn't very happy that I had to leave when I did. I felt such a strong connection there that leaving absolutely broke my heart. I can hardly wait to go back and am HOPING that I can figure out how I can get there ASAP. The Lord did amazing things in Uganda and it was humbling to be a part of His work.
It's hard to write at this moment, without breaking down in tears. Soon I will write about my adventures, about the people I met, the lessons I learned, the heart break I felt, the love I found and the joy I experienced. For now, I just wanted to say that I'm home, I'm healthy, I'm safe and although I'm sad that I'm not there, I KNOW that I will be back and that brings me comfort.
God is so good and although I don't always understand His timing and the obstacles He puts in front of me, I am learning more and more about Faith and love each day.
More to come in the future. Thank you all so much for your prayers, I truly felt them and know that this trip was a gift from God, and wouldn't have been possible without all your support!
This Mzungu is out...