Feeling Nostalgic

Have you ever felt like you wish you could go back and relive something all over again? Would you do it differently? Would you do it exactly the same?

Although I know it is impossible to go back and change anything that has happened in the past, I am feeling very nostalgic today. I'm missing my time in Uganda, missing the relationships I formed, missing the love I felt and missing the lessons I learned. I feel like it was ages ago that I was there and to be honest, I don't like that feeling at all. When I said I left my heart in Uganda...I truly did. I feel a bit lost and a bit out of sorts being back in the U.S. and now being back at my home in the monotony of my life, dealing with things that are so meaningless and useless, it's really quite the culture shock.

I found something in Uganda that I truly never felt I would find, feel or understand. I knew that my heart was pulled to Uganda last May when my now dear friend Lucy came to Westminster to talk about Uganda...I had no idea that a year later it would shock my heart to the core. I had no idea I would fall in love the way I have. I had no idea the Lord would use the people, places and things there to make me desire so much more in my own life and that of those around me.

Am I alone in this? Absolutely not. The Lord was powerful in Uganda and I believe, touched all 8 people on my team, all in different ways. God is creative in the ways He works in our hearts and even though I went with an open heart and unhindered soul, I had NO IDEA He would fulfill me in such a way that I feel like a completely different person.

So, what can I do about it now that I'm back?! Well, that's a very good question that I am still trying to wrestle with. In the last 10 days that I've been back, my emotions have been on a roller coaster, my life has been flipped upside down. I've cried from joy, I've cried from heartbreak, I've cried from love, I've cried from pain. I don't know where the path ahead of me is going, I don't know how I'm going to get there, and I don't know who is going to be there in the end, but I DO know that the Lord is paving that for me and I am trusting that He will protect and guide me, because I KNOW that He is the only one that has the power to do such a thing.

So, today, I feel nostalgic...I'm not sure what the future holds and that is hard to swallow...so I trust...and keep trusting...and pray...and keep praying!

My Team, from Left:

Tami, Ben, Gretchen, Me, Ivan, Ray, Leslie & Dominick

I left my Heart in Uganda

Back from Uganda and somewhat back to reality...at least to the reality of the U.S.
I'm at my parents in Michigan this week. Recovering and recooperating after a very long journey. I'm feeling surprisingly well...wasn't great last night, but compared to what I'm sure others are feeling, I'm doing pretty good.
I have to be honest...I wasn't ready to come home and wasn't very happy that I had to leave when I did. I felt such a strong connection there that leaving absolutely broke my heart. I can hardly wait to go back and am HOPING that I can figure out how I can get there ASAP. The Lord did amazing things in Uganda and it was humbling to be a part of His work.
It's hard to write at this moment, without breaking down in tears. Soon I will write about my adventures, about the people I met, the lessons I learned, the heart break I felt, the love I found and the joy I experienced. For now, I just wanted to say that I'm home, I'm healthy, I'm safe and although I'm sad that I'm not there, I KNOW that I will be back and that brings me comfort.
God is so good and although I don't always understand His timing and the obstacles He puts in front of me, I am learning more and more about Faith and love each day.
More to come in the future. Thank you all so much for your prayers, I truly felt them and know that this trip was a gift from God, and wouldn't have been possible without all your support!
This Mzungu is out...

Headed out!

Well, Mikaelyn and I made it safely to Michigan and have had a very nice, relaxing few days here with Grandma & Papa. I fly out tonight at about 7:45 to fly to Chicago, then a little more than 3 hours in O'Hare airport and then off to London. I'll be in London for about 2 hours by myself and then my team will arrive and I think we have about 7 hours together there. Hopefully we'll get out of the airport and maybe jump on the tube and tour London a bit. Then we'll be off to Entebbe, Uganda in Africa! We arrive about 8:30am on Sunday morning and go straight to church.
I can hardly believe that this day is actually here. It's a very surreal feeling since I have been planning this for SO long, it just seems unreal! I'm excited, but calm, and hope to stay that way! :o) I bet that it will be a different feeling when I meet up with my team and we're all together again...for 2 weeks! ;o)
Please keep me and my team in your prayers as we travel and are in country! I don't know if I'll be able to blog for a few weeks...I know there's a way to do it through my phone, but don't know if I can figure it out! HA! We'll see!
Blessings to you all and don't forget to pray!! xoxo

2 DAYS TO GO!

I can hardly believe that Mikaelyn and I are heading out in 2 days! WOW! I have A LOT to do today...mainly packing! Tomorrow I work, hang out with my family (sister and nephews and brother and nieces) and then small group, then home...then up EARLY to go to the airport! I can hardly believe it's actually here, well, just about!
This past Friday our team put on Game On! Africa - Hero's in Action. A fundraiser with Bingo, food, a silent auction and children's activities. It was a huge success (although extremely tiring) and we are very happy with the outcome! Yesterday (Sunday), Pastor Gary (the pastor at Westminster) prayed a commissioning prayer for our team at all 3 services. Tell the congregation about where we were going and also telling of the desperate need that Action International has right now for funds. We had AMAZING donations yesterday and our team is completely humbled by the outpouring of love and money from all the people that want to help. We are able to bring money to help pay for school for MANY children for probably 2 semesters and give money to Jerry and Candice Bingham (the missionaries we'll be working with) for supplies or whatever else they need.
I was overwhelmed by emotion watching the Lord work in the hearts of the people that heard about what we were doing and I, as I said before and completely humbled by the Lord's power! He is SO good and I feel honored to be a part of this team going to Uganda!
After a wonderful dinner with Anthony and Mikaelyn last night, getting ready today and seeing family tomorrow, I feel like I'm ready...well as ready as I'm going to be!
Please pray for me and my team as we travel and are in country for the next few weeks!
Love to you all and thanks so much for all your support!!

A trip to the Doctor

So, I did what I felt was the right thing and went to the Dr. yesterday to check out what this funky feeling in my chest was. I wasn't real excited about it, but felt that with my upcoming trip out of the country, it's probably best that I make sure everything is okay.
I went to see a NP (Nurse Practitioner). Normally this feels and seems no different than seeing an actual MD. However, yesterday, her little computer that they now use (no more writing on your large color coded chart) decided to start acting up and didn't want to work. So, she literally sat there for like 5 minutes talking to herself how she was going to throw a little temper tantrum and then every once in a while throw in a "well, that is really strange what you're feeling" or a "do you feel it right now?" question. Then she decided to pay attention to me and ask me what was going on, listen to my heart and order an EKG...that was it!! Ughh, I was so annoyed!
So, SHE diagnosed me as having an acid reflux flare up...uhh, you dimwit...that's NOT what I was feeling. So, I diagnosed myself as having an anxiety attack (attack being used lightly here). Had she asked me some more questions about what was going on with me emotionally in my home life, work, anything outside of my trip (which I did manage to throw in there), I think she may have taken a bit of a different approach.
But, whatever, the EKG came out normal which means my heart is fine, which is always good to know. She gave me some prevacid for my acid reflux which can never hurt since I deal with it every day and I will just figure out a way to calm my emotional issues within me.
I honestly believe that as soon as I get on the plane out of Washington my stress level will decrease. It has been a rough few weeks and I am ready to get away and regroup my life!
Today I feel a little better. I feel like I can breathe a little easier and know that after our big event Game on! Africa tonight, I will be able to breathe a little sigh of relief that it's over as well, only adding to the de-stressing!
Thanks to those of you who prayed for me and keep praying that I'll start to feel a little more normal, especially leaving the country 1 week from today!! YAY!

Chest Pain?! WTH?!

So, yesterday afternoon I started having terrible chest pain...which I THOUGHT was heart burn. My wonderful and Grandpa and Daddy were so kind of pass along the Groenink trait of terrible heart burn, Thank you ever so much! Tums are my BEST friend and in all honesty, I do not go ANYWHERE without a little pack in my purse.
This is something I deal with on a daily basis and it's not usually too bad...it's nothing like my Dad goes through, that's for sure! I've found what helps alleviate the pain and I stick with it.
But yesterday was different...it wasn't really "heartburn", but more like a terrible ache. I popped a few tums hoping that would help, tried to eat some dinner, which didn't work too well and went to bed about 8:30 (like asleep, not just laying in bed).
I woke up this morning STILL feeling this aching in my chest and told Anthony. He asked if I had pain in my arm...well, yes, I have had this weird pain in my left elbow for the past week or so, just a random achyness. Then he asked if I had shortness of breath...last night, I was having a weird dream and I couldn't breath, I had to go outside to try to catch my breath and breathe normally...I'm still feeling this sort of chlostrophobic feeling inside my chest/stomach. Very acidic in my upper gut. So weird! The pain in my arm isn't shooting into my chest or anything, it's just there.
Perfect timing right?! Only a few days from leaving the country?!? Geesh!
Anyway, I'm fully annoyed right now...just had to share! :o)

Invisible Children

Last night, I sat and watched 3 different videos about the Invisible Children of Uganda. I had Mikaelyn watch them with me, and although part way through I questioned whether these were appropriate for her to be watching, the reality is that this is REAL life!! As difficult and sad as it is to watch the terribly difficult life these young children have to live, if I were to not allow her to learn and understand what is going on in Uganda, I would be just another person turning a blind eye therefore validating that these are "Invisible Children".
I REFUSE to turn that blind eye and that is WHY I am going to Uganda. No matter how difficult the circumstances may be and how hard it will be to actually experience these type of situations, one person CAN make a difference and I'm going to do what ever I can to be that one person. I believe that my teammates are 6 others that feel the same way.
If you don't know what or WHO these Invisible Children are, you NEED to!! Go to www.invisiblechildren.com and take a few minutes to think about what YOU can do to help.
I couldn't sleep last night, not because of nightmares, but because I was so disturbed by my selfishness and the poverty that surrounds our country and what LITTLE we do about it.
I pray that this trip will change me in a way that I can't imagine because I have SO much and I don't appreciate it...and I NEED TO!